What to write in a funny get well soon card

  1. Remember, there's no rush to get well. Milk it as long as you can and enjoy the royal treatment!
  2. I've been hearing that the germs and viruses have voted you the "Best Host of the Year." Congrats? Here's to a less popular year ahead!
  3. I hope you get well soon, but not too soon. I'm enjoying all this peace and quiet around the [ house / office ].
  4. I bet the germs have found you to be irresistible!* Rest up, enjoy the attention, and remember: Chocolates make for faster healing*.
    * = Not all claims in this card may be accurate.
  5. Remember that time that you said you wanted a break? Well, maybe be a bit more specific next time! We hope that you're back to feeling better soon!
  6. You've always been a trendsetter, but I'll pass on this latest 'sick' trend you're showcasing. Wishing you back to great health and less viral moments!
  7. Being sick is your body's way of telling you to binge-watch all those shows you've been meaning to catch up on. We hope that you get well soon!
  8. I've seen your "I'm sick" act, and while it's top-notch, I think it's time for the "miraculous recovery" scene. But just in case it's real - Get well soon! Otherwise cue the applause and bring on the miraculous recovery.
  9. Studies show that 9 out of 10 patients recover faster when bribed with cake. Lucky for you, I've got a cake ready. Get well soon!
  10. They say laughter is the best medicine. Based on your sense of humor, maybe it's best you stick with the prescribed stuff. Get well soon!
  11. Why do they call it "bed rest"? It's not like the bed is doing any of the hard work. Wishing you all the best to great health.
  12. They say laughter is the best medicine. I've got jokes, but I figured you'd prefer the medicine.